No, you took 13 minutes of our time. We are owed an apology.
You took the rest of the half an hour to discuss something because you couldn’t process the discussion happening in written form. I’ll admit - I think that’s okay. We all write differently and communication is inherently hard. All of us had to be on this call now because we couldn’t write coherent sentences. But why are you happy? Why do you have to end the call this way?
Let’s be clear - you are not happy to give us back 17 minutes. I don’t think you feel anything about giving us back 17 minutes, even if we agree in some twisted sense that you are giving us back 17 minutes. Your soul isn’t half a percentage point more joyful that the rest of the team here can now concentrate on something else with this immediate non-danger averted. This throwaway line at the end is just a clever rephrasing of one’s shortcomings. It’s classic corporate advice of Don’t say “I’m sorry for the delay”, instead say “thank you for your patience”. A subtle reframing of your personal inability to respond on time into the other person’s probably non-existent virtue of patience.
Also, why the specificity? We get it. 30 - 13 = 17. I would be the first one to turn on my video, unmute myself, standup from my seat, and clap if you were able to do quick math and multiply two 5-digit numbers. This errant prime number is occupying way more space in the annoyance section of my head than it should because I’m questioning life now.
The part that is worse or more annoying is that the first three minutes were about how not-so-powdery the snow was when you went skiing two days ago. I would have been interested in the powderiness (or lack thereof) of snow if we were going to achieve something on this call but no. The physical property of snow should have been vetoed by you when you were thinking of what the agenda for this call is going to be.
Why did you have to introduce this mildly inconspicuous tilt in power dynamics? Why make us feel like we don’t control our time and someone else just gave it back to us because they knew what to do with it? And what am I supposed to do with these 17 minutes?
To end the call, just click on the big red button and leave. No one thinks about this whole thing and everyone is on their way doing whatever it is they were doing. “Thank you. Bye.”. Add a see you later if you have to but please don’t be happy again about giving our time back to us.
I believe that words have meaning. So, let’s call it for what it is in most cases - you pillaged 13 minutes of our time. Eight of us were on the call and five of us didn’t have to speak.
“I’m sorry to have taken 13 minutes of your time. Bye.”
Let’s make this the norm.